You Have to Kill the Ones You Love
by Remusindisguise
Summary: A little One Shot about Peter's love life in Peter's POV. Rated T for safety


You Have to Kill the Ones You Love

A great Death Eater once told me, "You have to kill the ones you love, or those who can identify you." I was too young (just 15) to take this to heart. I only knew that no one would ever love the pathetic Peter Pettigrew, the 'other' Marauder.

But then there was Mona Shilling. She was the 'Not Real Gryffindor'. She was a flat chested, shy, and mouse-like girl, who was a friend with Lily & Co. We were, as Sirius once said 'A match made in Heaven'.

While the other 7th year Gryffindors were making love, Mona and I sat in the common room, causally chatting and occasionally playing chess. One day, after a rousing game of Exploding Snap, I looked into her piercing black eyes and saw… myself. I finally saw what everyone else saw, a perfect couple.

I declared my feelings for Mona over an early Saturday morning breakfast we shared together. She was flustered and was a desert-sun red. She quietly mumbled "Me too." I beamed, kissed her on the cheek, and went to proclaim my new found love to the others.

We continued to our shy, secluding selves, with the fact that we would snuggle in the common room and occasionally peck one another on the lips. To my dismay, we never got passionate.

This all changed after Christmas Break. My Lordship had summoned me to join him on a trip to Yugoslavia that would take many months. For my life, I disappeared from Hogwarts, telling my friends that I had been accepted at a special wizard's school in India, and would not return for the remainder of the year. Since they were all too giddily in love, they didn't ask any questions.

3 years later, I was walking down Diagon Alley, on a mission to kill the Mudblood Janice Thatcher, a supporter of Werewolf rights. My Lordship said she would be protesting in front of Knockturn Alley. As I was walking past Madam Malkin's I saw her. Mona Shilling was sitting on the park bench, licking her Ice Cream cone, looking the same as she did sitting in the common room, sitting in my lap.

I made a point to walk quickly and look away. Even though I was badly scared and had a limp in my step, I knew she could recognize me. I walked past her without incident. But the she called out:

"Peter, is that you?"

I almost stopped in my terror. _How had she found out?,_ I thought. I continued in my stride hoping she would back off.

Alas, I was proven incorrect. Mona walked in front of me, gave me a look over and said "Oh, Peter it is YOU!" She proceeded to hug me and scream with joy. I wanted to do the same, but I knew my Lord would murder us both. So I wormed out of her grip and told her "I do not know you." With that I started off.

Mona's face fell. I hated to see her hurt, but I had to please my Lord, so I showed no emotion. But Mona was persistent.

"You don't remember the common room?" she questioned.

"No" I told her bluntly.

She then started to tell me the history of 'us'. I wanted so badly to tell her I knew everything and wanted it to be 'us' again, but I needed my life more than I wanted her.

I reached my destination. Janice has just begun to set up the signs. I walked up to Janice and whispered in her ear "Somebody doesn't want you here."

Janice's eyes got as large as saucers. She tried to run, but I had already bound her to a chair.

I lifted my head and screamed "AVADA KEDAVRA!"

The green beam of death shot towards Janice. Mona stood their in shock.

"PETER, YOU J…JU…JUST KILLED SOMEONE!" Mona sobbed. She was stuck in shock as to what I had just done.

The voice of the great Death Eater floated into my memory _"You have to kill the ones you love, or those who can identify you." _ I knew my fate. I had to kill my first and last love, Mona.

I nodded my head with tears welling up in my eyes. This was too hard to do.

"Peter, what are you going to do!!!?" Mona shrieked.

"Kill you" I whispered.

Before Mona could ask me what I said I chanted "AVADA KEDAVRA" and watched her crumple to the ground like a building in an earthquake.

I dried my eyes and walked away, knowing I saved myself.


End file.
